Go Big Or Go Home … Alone

When I used to think “marriage proposal,” my mind would wander to the guy who pops the question at a baseball game. During the 7th Inning Stretch or some other dramatic pause in the game, the couple appears on the Jumbotron. He pulls out the ring box, her hands fly to cover her mouth as he drops to one knee.

PortlandNow, I’m an old fashioned romantic at heart. I believe in flowers for no reason, opening doors, coats thrown over puddles — that sort of thing. I can’t imagine a less romantic way to propose a life long commitment to someone I love with all my heart than doing it over hot dogs and plastic cups of beer.

But there are girls out there that swoon for that sort of thing — ladies who love the excitement and atmosphere of a ball game. Who am I to judge?

That said, I think there are just some things that any good proposal should contain.

First — get the family’s consent (I say “family” to cover as many possible family dynamics – but tradition dictates asking her dad.) It says a lot about your character,  your respect for her and, hopefully, your soon-to-be family. It might not be the easiest thing to accomplish: Geography presented a challenge for me, as Amy’s father lives on the West Coast. However, I think it’s critical to look someone in the eye when you ask their permission. You’re doing it to reassure them that their little girl is the most important person in the world to you, and you’re going to take care of her.

Another thing you have to work out is the ring. Custom says you should plan on spending two-thirds of a month’s salary. It all depends on what you’re comfortable with and what you can actually realistically afford. I’m not saying it’s okay to drudge one out of a gumball machine, but financially biting off more than you can chew isn’t an ideal situation either. No matter the size of the diamond (or cubic zirconia or another stone … or no stone at all) may be, ultimately it’s about your effort in the process.

Many couples discuss this up front, and she is probably dropping hints like crazy — so pay attention. If you’re trying to make it a total surprise, shop with her and make mental notes.  Check out her other jewelry. You can even try on one of her rings to size it. And definitely research as much as you would any other big-ticket purchase.

 When it comes to the proposal itself, the sentiment is the same: Do your research and plan it out. Make sure it’s all about her. If she’s the girl that wants the game, giant-screen and seventh-inning public proposal — go for it. And go big. Find a way to get the mascots outfit. Excuse yourself then come back and make it a big deal. If she is all about family, make reservations where you can have them jump out of the wood-work at the perfect moment with plenty of people ready with cameras. Maybe she’d prefer a quiet, romantic moment tucked into an intimate corner of your favorite restaurant.

If you’re at the point of a proposal, you have a pretty good idea who this person is and what she would like. But if you’re still struggling with creative ideas, there are plenty of resources to turn to. From Internet research to hiring a professional — it just takes effort to make it epic. And it should be epic. My dad’s proposal to my mom went something like, “Ah … I’ve decided we’re getting married,” her ever-tolerant response being, “Oh, really?” That’s not a model for success in most cases. Go big or go home.

Don’t forget to get down on one knee! She’s worth it. And use her full name — she’ll love it. This memory AND this commitment is forever. Be ready, and brace yourself. With the joy of “yes” comes the roller coaster rocket ride to your wedding. The time will fly, and the best advice I can give there is be present, be helpful and be patient.

So now that you’re ready: Be prepared for things to go awry. When most folks hear the (long) story of my proposal to Amy, they discover that I was thwarted on multiple occasions. NOTHING I planned worked out exactly the way I hoped — from surprise guitarists at the Old North Church in Boston, to conspiring proposal possibilities with friends — it just seemed like there were elemental forces at work trying to best me. And it isn’t just me: A good friend was going to propose out of state, with a custom-made ring. The ring was late and proposalhad to be rushed to him mid-trail hike! No matter how ready you are, something could go wrong. Make it something you can laugh about later. Even if you have to wing it a bit in the end, it will all work out perfectly.

It did for us.

We got engaged on Cinco De Mayo at Shepherds Dell Waterfall in Portland, Ore. We were driving from Mount Hood to Cannon Beach. It was one of the most fantastic vacations I’ve EVER been on, as everything that happened just seemed magical. I tricked her into thinking that I didn’t bring the ring, then she accidentally found it on me the day before.

Then the perfect moment presented itself to the two of us alone, in a beautiful, peaceful place. I got down on one knee and asked my best friend and deepest love to be my partner for the rest of my life. She promptly responded, “Exactly how long will that be?”

She said “Yes” only after I promised it would be a long, long time.

We were married Oct. 19, 2013. You’ll read the story of our wedding next week as Amy walks you through the food portion of planning your wedding reception.

 

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Posted in In The Red Corner

By Way Of India, A Tomato Chutney, Tart And Green

Being from Seattle — about as far as you can get from the South — green tomatoes were not part of my childhood food repertoire. It never occurred to me that tomatoes could be anything but red until the movie Fried Green Tomatoes made it to Showtime.

But in India’s beautiful desert state of Rajasthan, where I lived more than a decade ago, green tomatoes were as ubiquitous as onions and eggplant (and boy, did I eat a lot of eggplant).

I was incredibly fortunate that a feisty woman named Manori Bai, a culinary alchemist if ever there was one, cooked lunch for me every day while I lived in India’s lovely “city of lakes.” (Actually, she cooked loads of food — enough for at least two meals daily. I’m pretty sure she thought Indian cooking was beyond me, and wanted to be sure I didn’t go hungry at dinner time).

Like many Indian women who make their living cooking and cleaning, Manori could prepare multiple dishes — and a stack of fresh chappatis — in the time it would take a typical American cook to muster just one. She made several incredible dishes that I’ve all but given up hope of replicating, including a vegetarian kaali daal (black lentils) that was somehow heartier than any non-veg food I ate in India. But one of my favorites was her green tomato chutney.

I’ve spent a decade trying to re-create it, and I think I’ve come as close as I’m ever going to get. It’s super-simple, delicious alongside pretty much any Indian dish and heavenly on its own with rice and cilantro. It’s also wonderful atop broiled or grilled fish (although I never had it in India that way). And tasty cold, hot or at room temperature — it’s even better the next day.

I recall Manori making it with roughly equal amounts of salt and sugar, but that’s never tasted quite right to me here in the U.S. But if you like the general flavor profile, tinker away.

Lucky for Sarah and I, Manori Bai isn’t in on this little competition, because there’s no besting her in the kitchen. This woman can pick up hot pans with her bare hands! So while we “Ameriki” (American) Eaters may be evenly matched in this food fight, believe you me, if Manori were here she would clobber us both.

Manori’s Green Tomato Chutney

VERY IMPORTANT SAFETY NOTE! Canning a chutney recipe containing oil using the boiling water bath method is risky, and tomatoes also need added acidity to be safely canned. Therefore, I’ve provided two versions of this recipe here. The first is to be eaten fresh, and/or stored in the fridge for several days or in the freezer for three months. The second recipe will taste a bit different. It has more sugar, vinegar for additional acidity, and its flavor comes from roasting the spices, rather than tempering in oil. That recipe should fill about three 8-ounce canning jars.

Also, there’s not too much to this stewy concoction, so it should go without saying that if you’re not a fennel fan, this may not be your thing!

2 tablespoons vegetable oil and/or coconut oil
2 teaspoons fennel seeds
1 1/2 to 2 pounds green tomatoes, roughly chopped into small pieces
1/2 teaspoon salt (or to taste)
1 1/2 tablespoons sugar (or to taste)
1 teaspoon ground cumin (optional)

Heat the oil (you can also add a splash of coconut oil, if you like the slight coconut-ty flavor) in a large saucepan over medium-high heat. Add the fennel seeds and reduce heat to medium. Fry fennel in oil until the seeds brown and sizzle, but don’t burn them. Keep your eye on them — they go from brown to black in no time!

Add the chopped tomatoes, salt and sugar. Stir well, cover, and reduce heat to medium low. Cook, partially covered, for about 30 minutes, stirring occasionally, until tomatoes have broken down. Remove lid and continue cooking on medium low 15 to 20 minutes, until chutney thickens and is still wet but not soupy.

Remove from heat. Stir in cumin, if you’re using it, and adjust salt if you’d like it saltier.

 

Not-Quite Manori’s Green Tomato Chutney, For Canning

Adapted from Food In Jars: Preserving In Small Batches Year-Round, by Marissa McCellan

4 teaspoons fennel seeds
2 teaspoons cumin seeds
3 pounds green tomatoes, roughly chopped into small pieces
1 teaspoon salt, or to taste
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup apple cider vinegar
3 sterilized 8-ounce canning jars

First, roast fennel and cumin in a heavy pan over medium-high heat, swirling occasionally, until toasty and fragrant — about three to five minutes (be careful not to let it burn). Cool and grind in a coffee or spice grinder.

Combine ground spices, tomatoes, salt, sugar and vinegar in a large saucepan over medium-high heat. Stir well, reduce heat to medium-low and cook, stirring occasionally, for about one hour, until chutney thickens and is still wet but not soupy.

Remove from heat and pour into prepared jars, leaving 1/2 inch of headspace. Use a plastic knife or wooden chopstick to remove air bubbles. Wipe the rim, seal and process in a boiling water bath for 20 minutes.

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Posted in In The Red Corner

Austin

 

Food trucks offering all kinds of fare, often cheaply, are a way of life in Austin. Courtesy of Heather Cowper of Heatheronhertravels.com

Young, coastal city dwellers love Austin, Texas. My friends descend on the self-proclaimed Live Music Capital of the World for Austin City Limits or SXSW and come back glowing from the sun, elated by the amazing music scene — and a little bloated from the abundance of tacos. The general consensus: Austin is really awesome. Or, as one friend exclaimed after a recent trip, “It’s like San Francisco, but cheap!”

The more I learn about Austin, the better it sounds. Living in San Francisco and having quite a few friends in New York City means I hear a lot of people worry about money. Last year, Forbes magazine ranked San Francisco and New York no. 19 and 13, respectively, on its “Most Overpriced Cities” list.

Austin, on the other hand, didn’t appear on the list at all.  Here in San Francisco, the average rent for a one-bedroom apartment is $1,848 — way more palatable than $2,568 in New York. but in comparison, a one-bedroom Austin apartment costs just $944. The Texas state capital also boasts an astonishingly low unemployment rate, 4.6 percent–much lower than San Francisco’s 6.5, New York’s 8.8 or the national average of 7.7.

So how is it possible that a city with a reputation for being extremely affordable also spends the most on eating out, per person, in the United States — at least according to this 2010 report? To get a local perspective, I checked in with three current Austin residents — Ashley, an educational technology consultant for McGraw Hill; Nick, a server and car blogger; and Graham, a wardrobe stylist and graphic designer — for their theories on food spending in their city. *

Lots Of Disposable Income

Texas’ booming economy has been a topic of media fascination for many years, and people are moving to Austin in droves.

Mass migration from high-earning areas like Silicon Valley and New York means there are a lot of people with an appetite for luxury. For example, Austin just opened a Ferrari dealership, not long after Rolls Royce and Aston Martin moved in. The city also plays host to a number of celebrity chef-owned restaurants, such as James Beard Award-winner Tyler Cole’s Uchi, where three people could spend $400 on dinner—hardly a quotidian expense.

But in Austin, Graham says, even the less wealthy can afford to go out on the town. He estimates he makes between $15,000 and $20,000, but he says it’s easy to find a $2-3 Lonestar tallboy on a night out, and he would never spend more than $4 or $5 on a higher-end beer. For cheap food, he usually buys cheap Mexican food from Los Altos near his Cherrywood home, where most items are $5 and breakfast tacos are $2 each, or $1 early in the morning.

“It’s not necessary to spend much out here, but because things are so cheap, people eat out a lot. It’s not a special occasion thing,” he says.

Austinites Take Food Very Seriously

Austinites are huge Tex-Mex fans Photo credit: Kimberly Vardeman

When I asked my sources what they would cut from their budgets if their incomes dropped, the answer was unanimous: NOT FOOD!

Eating is an important part of most cultures, of course, but Austin residents appear to be especially aware of how their food scene is changing. “The new live music is good food,” Ashley proclaimed. Or, as Graham put it, “Austin is transitioning from a place to eat good food to a foodie town.”

Traditionally, Austin has been home to an abundance of greasy, 89-cent tacos or barbecue places like Franklin, where you order piles of brisket, sausage or pork by the pound, served on butcher paper alongside a half a loaf of plain white bread. As wealth grew, however, so did food options.

The food trailer scene is so big there’s actually a site for curating them. Asking my sources about their favorite tacos from Torchy’s, a popular food truck, set off a firestorm of responses: the monthly special (this month it’s the Holy Diver, made of shrimp), fried avocado, Jamaican jerk chicken, barbacoa (face meat), and breakfast, to name a few. There are restaurants that fly in burrata from Italy, places that specialize in making their own pasta and spots that exclusively serve hot dogs or pork and pie. Restaurants advertise their locally-sourced, farm-to-table, gluten-free menus, while still priding themselves on an unpretentious attitude towards food (apparently you can still see millionaires tucking a napkin into their button-down shirts and gobbling a $3 taco).

So here’s my most plausible explanation for high restaurant spending in Austin: a beer here or a taco there between shows or at a festival never feels like very much money, and why wouldn’t you go out to dinner when there is a place specializing in gourmet fried chicken or avocado margaritas? It adds up over time, but with low unemployment, low costs of living, relatively high incomes and lots of options in every price range, it’s not difficult for Austin residents to eat food worthy of the abundant Instagram shots they share across the web — and still live within their means.

* The 2010 report also showed that Austin residents spent more per-person on groceries than any other U.S. city. Here, I focused just on the eating-out side of the equation.

Living on any kind of budget isn’t easy, but when it comes to food, each dollar really counts. Food scarcity is a real issue many Americans face daily. Next week, WTE takes a look at the challenges of putting food on the table with food stamps — and offers some strategies to help stretch your food dollars.

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Posted in In The Red Corner
photo credit to Aaron Otis Photography 2014


July
Watermelon is the perfect summer food. It hydrates, it cools, it's sweet and juicy. We have some great ideas for your table, including a salad, ceviche cups, popsicles and cocktails. Get ready to beat the heat with us!